


Soft light, Golden eyes

by mylifesahell



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Gen, Keyleth being a BAMF, M/M, Not Canon Compliant, Possesion, Sick Character, Sickfic, slowly meandering into a relationship..., these adorable fools are gonna kill me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-06
Updated: 2018-01-06
Packaged: 2019-03-01 01:49:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,407
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13284372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mylifesahell/pseuds/mylifesahell
Summary: Kash tries to always keep the delicate balance between him and Vesh in check. But when the veil between worlds becomes thin Kashaw finds himself in an undesirable situation. Good thing he has people who are willing to take care of him.





	Soft light, Golden eyes

  On stressful days Kashaw would meditate. Unlike most clerics who would pray to their deities, Kashaw didn't have that option. To pray to a Goddess like Vesh, was at least to Kash something blasphemous. He meditated for control, to keep balance, to be Vesh's balance. It never ended well, leaving Kash with more mental scars than those that were on his arm.

Vesh liked to threaten, she enjoyed seeing Kash squirm. And when he did, she’d wriggle deeper into his subconscious leaving Kash soaked wet with tears and sweat from nightmares.  Vesh enjoyed a good bloodbath, so Kash’s dreams often featured loved ones with their innards… out.

  After one particular evening, Kash awoke screaming. He couldn't remember what he was dreaming about, but his scars burned. The tell-tale sign it was Vesh's fault. The room shook with her laughter until it quieted and Kash could breathe. He slipped out of bed without a single thought. Kash grabbed a large blue cloak, pulling it around his shoulders tightly. He slipped out of Whitestone castle and fled to the quiet fields of the castle gardens. His feet were bare as he walked on the soft green grass. It was cold, cold for a spring night. Walking across it he sat under a tree, Kash let go. He let himself be consumed by the anger and helplessness that pressed itself in his mind. Sobs shuddered up his body, he couldn't do this. He didn't want to keep seeing people he loved die over and over again. He took a shuddering deep breath, making himself more comfortable under the large oak tree. He tucked his feet into the cloak drawing his legs up to his chest. He worked on his breathing and relaxed his body. Vesh liked him like this. Vulnerable easy to manipulate, their balance was slightly tipped in her favour. Kash needed to work to restore it back. He closed his eyes and meditated.

     Before he knew it the sun had risen, it was warming his face… and honestly, he was exhausted. The balance had been restored but, Kash was certain it wouldn’t last long and that was troubling. He sighed.

“ Kash?” Came a soft airy voice.

It was Keyleth, no doubt waking up early to tend the garden. Kash stood shakily, using the oak to balance himself. His legs did not want him standing.  

“Hi.” He said curtly.

“ O-oh hi, uh, Kash. Up early?” Keyleth wondered.

 “ Sure. Yeah...whatever.” Kash responded.

Keyleth stared, he knew he looked bad. Eyes rimmed red. Hair disheveled, hanging in loose waves around his face. His feet were caked in dirt. Kash looked at Keyleth and she stared back, her eyes suddenly suspicious.

“ Kash are you okay?” Keyleth questioned moving closer to him.

He grunted in answer shifting away from her slightly. He wasn't ill. He was simply tired. Mediation and his constant waves of magic to beat back Vesh was weighing on him. He felt hot… a little too hot.

 Keyleth frowned pressing her cold hand against his forehead. Without wanting to, Kash leaned into her touch.

 “ Kash you're burning up!” Keyleth exclaimed.

 He swatted her hand away.

“ I'm fine.”

 He walked away then. Hobbling up back to his room. In swift motions he fell face first into his feather down bed.

 _‘ I like you like this husband.’_ Vesh said in his head.

Kash groaned. Vesh chuckled. The room began to get colder. Kash pulled at his cloak making it tight around his body. He shivered involuntarily. It was coming, Kash knew it was. The veil between worlds was dropping for the summer solstice. These were the times Vesh would try to push herself past her bonds to throw their balance off. To spread her evil.

 _‘ like what?’_ Kash thought.

‘ _Weak. Easy to bend to my will.’_ Vesh elaborated.

‘ I _won't be bending anywhere.’_ Kash said tiredly.

 ‘ _We'll see, my love.’_ Vesh said.

  Kash felt her presence slither away the room became warm again. He was okay, she couldn't escape the bonds of her prison. He was fine.

    For now, it would start to get worse soon. That he knew for sure, Vesh tried this at every equinox, at every solstice. It was exhausting. As long as Zee was here he could get through this...but Zee wasn't here. She was in Vassalheim with some of Vox Machina, researching more on Vecna and Orcus. The three who stayed in Whitestone were Keyleth, Vax, and Pike.  Kash groaned again. He'd rather die than ask them for help. Actually, maybe Pike. Pike hasn't disappointed him yet.

 A knock startled Kash out of his musings.

 “ Go away…..please.” He said his face still stuffed into his pillow.

  The door opened anyway, softly.

  “ Kash, it's Keyleth.”

The Air Ashari’s voice flitted across the room. She sounded worried. He growled in response, and could almost feel Keyleth flinch.

 “ Kash you have a fever. I want to help you, s-so shut up.” Keyleth stuttered.

  “ I'll pass.” He says.  

“ Kash you're being a dick.” Keyleth deadpans.

 “ Big shocker there,” Kash says hugging his bed linens close to his body.

He gets up too quickly, dizziness hits him like a wave as he tries to maneuver around Keyleth. There must be someplace in this goddamn castle he can regain his strength and sanity in peace. The tree in the gardens suddenly sounds appealing. Kash gets about two feet to the door when something clad in all black blocks his path.

 “ Oh no you don't stink eye.” says Vax amusedly.

  Kashaw glares.

“ Oh great here comes the goth patrol. I'm fine, get out of my way.”

 Vax doesn't move, and Kashaws world begins to spin. The heat that bothered him outside is back full force. This is how it usually begins, with a fever. His scarred arm hurts painfully. His head swims and he's falling but he doesn’t know why.

 A voice yelps behind him. And arms catch him around the middle. He closes his eyes and his mind floats away.

~●~

 When Kash came to he was tucked into bed. His head was pounding, the balance he kept with Vesh was once again tipped. A cold cloth was pressed against his forehead.

 “ Fuck me,” Kashaw muttered as his eyes fluttered open.

  “ Kash?” It was Keyleths voice.

   “ Yeah?” He asks softly.

    “ What's going on with you?” Keyleth says as she sits on the bed close to him.

  “ I have a fever.” Kash answers bluntly.

  “ Oh no we got that after you passed out. What she meant is why aren't healing spells working on you?” Vax said sitting in a small chair next to the bed.

  “Vesh. It's Vesh. She does this every time the veil between worlds becomes thin.” Kash rasps.

 “ gives you a fever?” Keyleth asks confused.

 Kash chuckles.

“ No, tries to shift the balance into her favour. I'm tied to her. She pulls...I fall. I pull… she falls.”

“ And then she gives you a fever?” Vax said eyebrows raised.

“ Then she tries to overtake the balance and spread her evil. It'd be really nice if she didn't try to use me as a way through” Kash sighs.

“ This happens…, often?” Keyleth wonders.

“ At least four times a year.” Kash answered. “ Zee usually helps me, but she's not here.”  

 Keyleth glances at Vax, Vax glances back. Kash can almost see the silent conversation they're having with their eyes. It looks like they come to some sort of an agreement because Keyleth claps her hands together and smiles.

 “ We’re gonna help you through this Kash!” Keyleth grins.

“ No,” Kash said defiantly.

He felt like he had no choice in the matter.

“Why?” Vax questioned curiously.

Kash paused a blush creeping up his cheeks.

“ I don't want you two to get hurt,” Kash whispers.  

Vax’s hand settles on his shoulders.

“ We've fought dragons. An evil goddess, well that's nothing.” Vax says grinning.

 Keyleth nodded enthusiastically beside him.

“ I am not taking no for an answer.” Keyleth smiled.

“ Fine, but I'm warning you now. This shit gets messy.” Kash said.

  Well, he certainly wasn't wrong about that.

~●~

In the next few hours, Kashaw was writhing in pain. Tears slipped from his eyes as he thrashed and whimpered. Darkness seeped from him in waves, whenever Keyleth or Vax drew close a little of the darkness would sting their hands. His scars glowed a dark purple that spilled out of them and streaked across his light skin. Vax was holding him down watching Kash with uneasy eyes. Kash, always calm and confident reduced to a whimpering mess startled Vax.  He could only imagine the kind of pain he was in. Vax lifted his hands from Kash’s body. He instead took hold of his shaking hands. Kash eyes darted around landing on Vax. A look of thankfulness rippled in his different coloured eyes.

   Keyleth had moved cradling Kash’s head in her hands. The necrotic energy that pulsed from his skin burned. Keyleth winced but shrugged it off.

  “Kash…? Kash. Breathe, please. You need to breathe and calm down. If you wanna fight her you gotta breathe.” Keyleth whispered. “ remember your meditation. You need to breathe.”

 Kash stared into her bright green eyes. His breathing began to slow but, his brow creased in immense pain. Kash’s  teeth ground against each other.

 “ Close your eyes?” Keyleth asked gently.

 Kash closed his eyes.

 “ Just breathe Kash. In….out… in…-”

Keyleth rubbed small circles in his head. Kash’s body stuttered in movement. His thrashing settling.  

  In a moment of respite, Kash stopped thrashing. He breathed heavily, the black miasma seeping back into his body. Vax and Keyleth sighed in relief. Kash curled up into a ball on the bed. His whimpering ceased, but his eyes were shut tightly.

 “ Oh no, don't do that,” Vax said pulling at Kash to open up.

 Keyleth smiled sadly pulling at Kash's hands settling down next to him.

“ come on, open your eyes, Kash.” Keyleth asked.

“ I really don't want to.” Kash shook his head

 Vax raised an eyebrow.

“Come on stink eye. Your glare is your best quality.”

Kash smiled at that, but his eyes stayed shut.  

“Kash.” A sigh from Keyleth. “ come on.”

 A huff of air. And slowly very slowly Kash opened them. His eyes were black. A void, a sea of black and in the center a gold ring.  Keyleth gasped.

 Kash flailed.

“ This, uh… happens. Don't freak out.”

 Vax reached out once again pulling Kash with his hands. Keyleth helped, moving the cleric into a sitting position. They stared at his eyes, Kash sighed and closed them again. Not appreciating the attention.

 “ Look you guys, I really don't need you here hovering over me,” Kashaw mumbled. “ I could have handled this myself.”

“ Really, you'd be content with what just happened, if you were alone,” Keyleth said.

“ Yes,” Kash whispers.  

“ Well frankly Kash, that's stupid. Let me guess you pushed Zahra away as well not wanting her to get hurt.”

 Kash goes very silent.

“ This isn't healthy Kash,” Vax says softly. “ Let people that love you, help you.”

 “ You're one to talk broody feathers,” Kash says raising an eyebrow.

 Vax shoots Kash a glare, but Kash is unaware. His eyes still tightly closed. Kash’s scars glow ominously again. And Vax can't help but think that maybe his wife is listening. Enjoying seeing her husband break under her pulses of power. He didn't like that.

  So, Vax did something stupid. He leaned in close to Kash and kissed him. Kash froze. Keyleth laughed. Vax withdrew with a smirk, but it didn't last long. Kash’s expression turned from shock to something dark. His eyes flew open, Kash gasped. Dark veins protruded from his skin trailing all the way up to his eyes. Kash gasped once more. A wide grin stretched upon Kashaw's face. It was so unlike him, Vax shivered.

   _“ He is mine, tainted of the raven queen.”_ A deep rasp came from Kashaw's mouth. _“ I do not share….”_

 _“_ Leave him alone.” Keyleth spoke, voice steady. “ both of them.”

     Kashaw sneered. Or rather Vesh sneered. Vax’s jaw tightened.

  “ Uhhhhhh Kiki, …. greater restoration would be great right now…” Vax said.

“   Ah!” Keyleth scrambled, “ uhm right!”

Vesh began to cackle. The hair on both Vax and Keyleths arms stood on end. Keyleth did not falter for a second. She didn’t believe in gods, she didn’t believe in their false promises. Resented the way that some gods have woven themselves into Vox Machina’s life. The Raven Queen hung over Vax’s head ever watchful, and all Keyleth wanted was to send her away. Vesh will have to do for now.

Vax watched as Keyleth glowed with ethereal light and gripped Kash’s wrists tightly.

“ I don’t want to repeat myself, but clearly you’re too dense to understand,” Keyleth’s voice dipped down several octaves. In an almost elemental growl. “ I said leave him alone.”

The dark aura around Kash suddenly dispersed with a bone-chilling screech. The blackness of Kash’s eyes dissipated and both Keyleth and Kash were left breathing hard.

 “ You’re freaking amazing,” Kash said breathlessly before slumping forward head falling gently on Keyleths shoulder.

  Keyleth smiled as she felt Kash become limp in her arms. He was exhausted.  Keyleth gave Vax a concerned look as they gently settled Kash into bed. They joined him under the covers wedging the cleric between them.

~●~

When Kash awoke it was to a face full of bright orange hair and he couldn't move. Somehow while they slept Keyleth had wrapped herself around Kash effectively cutting off his movement. Vax, on the other hand, thought it was a good idea to sleep directly on top of Kash using him as a pillow. Kash wasn’t mad maybe slightly annoyed. Then again he was always annoyed, Zahra called it one of his permanent states.

“ You awake?” Keyleth whispered.

“ mhm” Kash murmured.

Keyleth shifted, she pushed her hair out her face. Her green eyes stared at Kash.

“ I’m glad you’re not evil.” She said softly.

“ Me too.” Kash huffed. “ Is he gonna get off me?”

Vax smiles on top of him and snuggles closer.

“ No.” Vax laughs.

Kash sighs. Looking at the two half-elves laying in his bed. They saved him.

“ Thank you.” He says quietly. “ but that was reckless, she could’ve killed you both.”

The two elves smirk at each other and Kash sighs again. They’ll have to have a long conversation about this but right now Kash is content with shoving Vax off the bed and curling up next to Keyleth. It’ll be okay.

**Author's Note:**

> Kashaw just needs some hugs man. Also my take on Kash's relationship with Vesh. I love the Keyleth+Vax+Kash ship its great. kEyleth IS a BAMF this GIRL is A queen.


End file.
